Mr. Potato Head

Everyone was dressed in their finest formal wear, enjoying the most expensive dinner imaginable, in the extravagant, formal dining hall of Buckingham Palace. At the head table sitting to the left of the Queen of England was her husband, Prince Philip. Next to him the First Lady of the United States. At the Queen's right hand sat President Barack Obama in all his boyish splendor.

The last time they met Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II a gift worthy of a self-absorbed 12 year old, and his wife put her arms all over Her Majesty. Whether they agree with the monarchy or not, as the leader of the greatest nation on earth, proper protocol in foreign relations is a given, and anybody with half a brain would have learned what was proper to do before making a fool of himself in front of the whole world.

Not to be stopped, Obama proceeded at the state dinner last week to outdo himself. When it was his turn to speak he stood, made a few remarks from cue cards (no teleprompters were available), and asked everyone to stand for a toast to the queen. Then things began to get interesting. Headlines have announced that the Queen humiliated Obama by refusing to acknowledge his toast. But that's not really what happened.

Obama, great "orator" that he is, said, "To the Queen." The inflection in his voice dropped as if it were a final word, and he paused. The orchestra began to play the British National Anthem. Obama continued to speak, holding up his glass, and then turning to toast Elizabeth II. Only when she did not respond did he apparently realize that he was the only person in the entire hall holding up his glass. So he put it down, raised his arrogant chin, waited for the music to stop, and then when everybody including the Queen raised their glasses, he held his up to her again and she did respond.

I don't know a lot about royal protocol, but apparently when you toast the Queen, the National Anthem has to be played before completing the toast. Whether or not it is required, when it is played, everybody stands to attention in silence to honor the Queen. At least that's what everybody in the hall, including the president's wife, did, except for Obama. He kept right on babbling in his own little dream world, completely unaware of what was going on all around him.

Queen Elizabeth II humiliated no one. She followed the same protocol she has lived by for nearly 70 years, while the bumbling President of the United States didn't have enough common sense to put his glass down and shut up while the music played. The only one who humiliated Barack Obama was Barack Obama. What's worse, our buffoon of a president insulted not only the Queen, but every patriotic Brit, and every true American by his complete lack of class, and any understanding of the proper way to do anything. He is an embarrassment.

One good thing about his trip was his search for his ancestors in the potato fields of Ireland. He apparently found his roots.